When asked, most will often say that they have had a vivid dream or two in their lifetime. Even after many years those particular dreams were remembered. The dreams were vivid, there was an important message derived from an encounter with a person, there is a remembrance of physical touch, there was a feeling of intense emotion, and there were no distractions for that brief moment while you were asleep.
So what happens when we sleep? And why is it easier for those who have crossed over to talk with us in our dreams?
When sleeping, we are in that “in between place,” between earthly reality and the spiritual world. During this time our rational mind and our ego are not engaged. Our subconscious being is wide open and vulnerable; allowing us to communicate and accept what we see, hear and feel. This generally happens when we are in the REM (rapid eye movement) sleep stage.
During REM sleep, several physiological changes take place. The heart rate and breathing quickens, the blood pressure rises, we can’t regulate our body temperature as well and our brain activity increases to the same level as when we are awake, or even higher. The rest of the body, however, is essentially paralyzed until we leave REM sleep. This paralysis is caused by the release of glycine, an amino acid, from the brain stem onto the mononeurons (neurons that conduct impulses outward from the brain or spinal cord).
So with a higher elevation of brain activity, one has to question whether we are avoiding talking with those who have passed on while conscious due to the fact that we don’t open our minds enough to have such encounters. Do we build psychological walls, allow ourselves to be behind protective mental barriers in order to not accept that fact that those who have passed on never truly went anywhere? Is it so hard for us to accept that while we are awake?
Ernest Hartmann, a doctor at Tufts, focuses on the emotional learning that happens in dreams. He has developed the theory that dreaming puts our difficult emotions into pictures. In dreams, we deal with emotional content in a safe place making connections that we would not make if left to our more critical or defensive brains.
In this sense, dreaming is like therapy on the couch. We think through emotional stuff in a less rational and defensive frame of mind. We are also more acceptable to other’s emotions as well. Through that process, we come to accept truths we might otherwise repress in ourselves and from others.
A few weeks ago, I went to the ER for a medical issue. While sitting in the examination room waiting for the doctor, all was quiet. But once the doctor came in, so did another man who stood just inside of the curtain. I knew this man wasn’t supposed to be there. I also knew that the man was unaware that he was dead, from what he was saying. The doctor asked me what I was there for and to describe my pain. I was distracted, however, by the man in front of the curtain talking about his confusion. The doctor probably thought I was on drugs or something, because I kept losing my train of thought.
So why couldn’t I have just said to the doctor, “Sorry, I’m distracted by the man standing in front of the curtain.” Simply put, I was afraid the doctor would think there was something mentally wrong with me. Yet everyone has experienced some type of visitation. Whether it be thought of as coincidence or synchronicity. I should have just felt comfortable with sharing what I was seeing and hearing to the doctor without expecting any negative consequences.
However, when we are asleep, there are no social barriers or emotional anchors that hold us down. We are accepting of all, and open minded to the oddest things. So there is an understanding deep within ourselves that once we are in the REM sleep stage that we can communicate with those who have passed on.
Not all visitations are from those that you have known or loved in your life; often times there are visits from people you have never met before. These strangers who visit you in your dreams only want to be heard and understood, nothing more and nothing less.
It’s important for those who have passed to get the chance to voice who they are. Keeping a dream journal, or keeping the dream to memory honors those who needed to be heard. Acceptance of dream visitations is important to being able to enjoy the time with those visitors.